Retcon
by KitKatt0430
Summary: Cisco remembers every time Barry resets the timeline. It takes a while, but eventually he remembers the things that used to be. Sometimes he's glad things are different. Sometimes... sometimes he learns things he'd rather not know. And sometimes he learns things he can change. He's starting to get very concerned with the implications on his personal life. Hartmon Fest - the past


Summary: Cisco remembers every time Barry resets the timeline. It takes a while - sometimes longer than others - but eventually he remembers the things that used to be. Sometimes he's glad things are different. (He's so very glad not to be dead.) Sometimes... sometimes he learns things he'd rather not know. And sometimes he learns things he can change.

He's starting to get very concerned, though, with the ethical implications on his personal life.

Hartmon Fest 2019:  
– Mar 13th – the past  
– Feb 19th – Cisco character fic

Notes: There are a lot of quotes in here from various episodes in seasons 1, 2, and 3.

It's sort of an odd take on the prompt, but I like the outcome. Set in a nebulous alternate season 5, Cisco reflects on how he's used his powers in the past and how he'll deal with some of the ethical complications he's noticed moving forwards.

_**Retcon**_

_"I can help you." It's a last ditch attempt to stay alive. It's a lie. They both know it._

_"You're smart, Cisco. But you're not that smart. Do you know how hard it has been to keep all of this from you, especially from you? Because the truth is, I've grown quite fond of you. And in many ways, you have shown me what it's like to have a son." The worst part is that he sounds so sincere. He means it, in his own way. He cares for Cisco, mentored him, taught him to become the scientist he is today. And now he's going to kill Cisco because, like Hartley before him, Cisco had become inconvenient. "Forgive me, but to me, you've been dead for centuries."_

_There are tears running down his face already. Cisco's been crying quietly since pretty much the moment Harrison Wells walked into the room. The moment Cisco knew he was going to die today. And then Dr. Wells raises his hand, vibrates it, and..._

_And Cisco dies alone._

* * *

Every time Barry - or someone else - resets the timeline, Cisco remembers the previous timelines eventually. Not the whole thing, usually. But not just the relevant bits either. So there's a lot of things he knows that he wishes he didn't.

Like what it feels like to have a hand shoved through his chest to stop his heart.

He can't watch the first Iron Man movie anymore. He figured that out the hard way, having a panic attack during the scene where Obadiah Stane takes the arc reactor out of Tony's chest. The rest of that movie night, once Caitlin and Barry calmed him down, was spent watching one of the Carebears movies on Youtube.

* * *

_"Aah!" Hartley had fallen to his knees, clutching his ears, keening in pain._

_"You're not the only one who understands vibrations, Hartley," Cisco taunted, taking out his frustration on the man in front of him. "Those cochlear devises you're wearing?" Every time Hartley had been a dick to him. "I made a few adjustments."_

_Ronnie's death. Cisco shutting the damn door._

_"No, please don't! Nngggh!"_

_The revelation that Dr. Wells wasn't as perfect as Cisco'd always believed._

_"If you know how to find Ronnie, then you'd better tell me. Right now."_

_"Please," Hartley begged. (Hartley never begged for anything.) "Make it stop. Please. I'll show you. I'll show..." he cried out in pain again, nearly doubled over in on himself at this point._

_Cisco shut off the sound. "Try that again, and I won't make it stop. Ever."_

_"I'm impressed," Hartley rasped out as he stood, expression as he gazed at Cisco holding a new found wariness. "Didn't think you had that in you."_

_It didn't feel like a compliment._

* * *

As much as Cisco wishes he didn't remember being murdered by his mentor, he wishes he didn't know he was capable of things like that even more. He hates knowing he's capable of hurting someone like that - of using tools meant to help to deal out pain instead - and not feeling regret until so much later.

A look into the part of himself that liked playing god with others. The part of himself that in another life could've made him Reverb instead of Vibe.

Worse, he hates remembering hurting Hartley. Remembering seeing Hartley in pain and thinking 'good'.

* * *

_"Last night, I... uh... I ghosted."_

_"No."_

_"Yeah, I think I'm going-"_

_"Don't say it."_

_"I think I'm going to time jump."_

_Cisco threw up his arms in frustration and considered, seriously, putting his fingers in his ears and humming loudly. "I just told you not to say it!"_

_"I'm sorry. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do."_

_"The first rule of time travel is you don't talk about time travel! Because by having this conversation, we're screwing history!"_

_"Look, I know that time travel has consequences. I mean, the last time you vibed-"_

_"Well, I'm not vibing anything now."_

* * *

He wishes he'd remembered that lesson later, when it would've done him some good. That time travel isn't something to be trifled with or done too easily. That they don't have the right to use Barry's powers - or Cisco's own - to play god, to decide who lives and who dies. But he doesn't remember it until he's in the midst of being angry with Barry over Dante's death.

Of course, that's when he also remembers the Flashpoint timeline.

* * *

_"Wally's vitals are low and he's lost a lot of blood."_

_"He should be rapidly healing. It's one of the gifts of being a speedster."_

_"He's not... I'm sorry."_

* * *

He can't help but feel like Barry traded his brother's life for Dante's. That's not at all how it happened, but... grief isn't rational.

And so, for a time, mind full of memories that didn't belong in this lifetime, Cisco wasn't rational either.

* * *

_"So, I'm going to be in town for the weekend and thought maybe we could meet up?"_

_Only meeting up became hooking up, but Cisco is still hung up on Cynthia and says the wrong thing the morning after. Things are... awkward, afterwards. Hartley eventually stops calling when he's in town._

* * *

But sometimes its worth seeing the timelines past. The way things shift sometimes and he's not sure, yet, what the cause will be. Events move out of order and he gets an unexpected chance to get things right where another him got it wrong.

"So I'm going to be in town for the weekend and thought maybe we could meet up?" Hartley says over the phone.

Cisco agrees and when they kiss, Saturday evening, Cisco pulls back. "I need us to take this slow," he says. "I like you, Hartley, and I want to make things work with you, but I'm afraid if we rush things I'll screw it up."

Hartley tucks an errant lock of hair behind Cisco's ear. "Slow," he says quietly. "I can do slow. May I kiss you again?"

"Yes..."

* * *

_"Dr. McGee has offered me a position back in the Central City office. It's a good move for me career wise, but also... we could stop doing the long distance thing. I thought... I know we haven't really discussed it much, but then we've been living in different cities. Would you... would you be interested in moving in together?"_

* * *

"Hartley... do you think its okay that I change things because of my vibes? Like... not just saving someone who might die but... altering parts of our lives because of something I saw in another timeline or maybe the future?"

Hartley pressed a kiss against Cisco's forehead and held him a little more tightly. "I think its fine, Cisco. It'd be one thing if you were actively re-writing time to get what you want. But the vibes you're talking about... those are vibes you aren't consciously triggering. And once you have that knowledge... honestly, I'd be shocked if it didn't affect your decisions about us. What brought this up?"

"I just... I'm afraid, sometimes, that the knowledge my vibes give me could end up making me manipulative. I don't like the outcome, so I change things to suit myself. I change things and... I get a hot boyfriend I wouldn't have had otherwise."

Hartley snorted in amusement. "I got a pretty hot boyfriend out of the deal too. No complaints here. But, if it bothers you that much, how about this? When you have a vibe that concerns our relationship, tell me about it. Then we can decide together what we want to change or stay the same."

"It pretty much changes by default at that point," Cisco noted wryly.

"Then we'll decide how it changes together."

Cisco nodded. "I like that. Deciding things together." Cisco paused a beat, then said, "I had a vibe this morning. You told me Dr. McGee was offering you a promotion here in Central City and asked me to move in with you."

"Huh... that's... she's been hinting around wanting me back in Central City to head up something, but Tina's been evasive about what it is. The project is several months down the road, whatever it is. I... I like the idea of us moving in together when that time comes, though. Is that something you'd want?"

"Yes. Yes, it is." That's a future Cisco dearly wishes would come to pass.


End file.
